A little bit past midterms, and feeling the turkey itch

This Semester has been crazy, fun, stressful, yet one of a kind. It is the first time I have been in college single!! that is such a shocker! Well, after leaving parents, I went to college and depended on a man for 2 years. But now I am totally free and independent. It was a a weird adjustment, because I used to be able to count on him for companionship and some one to go with me to places. now, I eat by myself, do my own things and don't depend on anyone. I also have been on the market, and I'm not even sure how that works. The one boyfriend I had, just sort of happened. I am using sort of the same techniques on the guys, but they don't seem to be working. Its like I am not good enough or they are Dbags or taken. I'm not saying I am intentionally being slutty or overly enthusiastically throwing myself at men. Its just if the opportunity walks by, I will flirt or flash a smile.

I just feel that the perfet man is not gonna be dropped in my lap, wished it worked that way, but its not gonna happen. So, I am taking matters into my own hands, and putting myself out there. Now, I am not expecting fast results, but I have been doing this since August and it is now November. 3 months.... I may be getting a little impatient.

Now, I know that having a relationship is added stress and worry, and I already have a crap load of that, but sometimes in the night I wish that the pillow I am hugging is a man. Now, I am not wishing for a miracle or anything, but during this holiday season a man would be a nice present.

It is just weird cause I am putting in all this hard work to be pretty, flirty, available, and cute, and nothing is happening. So, I guess now I just have to step back from the situation and let things just happen. which is hard for me to do, cause I like to analyze, worry, and assess the situation, and it is going to be difficult to put it out of my head. hopefully finals will be enough of a distraction.

Oh yea on the subject of school, classes are going well, but finals will be the true judgement day. Ugh! I know that turkey break will be homework everyday and family time, so not much of a break. That won't come until Christmas break, and then I will want something to do to ease the pain of family time, so I will work on some personal goals. Until next time........College girl :)